What is complex trauma: “traumatic stressors that are interpersonal, that are premeditated, planned, and caused by other humans, such as violation and/or exploitation of another person.” Dr. L Courtoise

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Dr. Courtois defines complex betrayal trauma as: “multiple and repeated experiences of interpersonal trauma.”

 

So complex partner betrayal trauma is both relational and repeated. It contains an element of betrayal by a trusted person, and it happens more than once. Often, it is ongoing, a chronic situation that lasts for months or even years.

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Dr. Michele Mays says:  Complex partner betrayal trauma is the overlapping of three types of traumatic impact experienced by betrayed partners that occur simultaneously and influence and exacerbate each other. These three types of trauma—attachment trauma, emotional and psychological trauma, and sexual trauma—weave together, creating an overlapping, intertwined kaleidoscope of betrayal that often touches the nerve center of all three experiences concurrently.

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Does any of the following resonate with you?

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• intentional psychological manipulation of your reality, causing brain fog, feeling "crazy" and resulting in a second brain injury, 

• chronic utilization of deceptive tactics and covert management, ongoing psychology and system of violation, control, and clandestine domination

• chronic patterns of lying/lying by omission

• corrosive negative justifications for externalizing blame onto the victim or the relationship erosion of relational integrity 

Couples and individuals dealing with problematic sexual behaviours might typically hear the terms compulsive sexual behaviour disorder or sexual addiction used to describe their experiences. But these words don’t fully capture all of what goes on in these situations. An exclusive focus on sexual behaviours is incomplete, as problematic sexual

behaviours are often accompanied by a tragic pattern of abuse and injury that profoundly impacts partners and family members for years.

• Does Your sense of security and connection feel destroyed?

• Do you feel torn between love and loathing for the person who betrayed you. 

• Do you feel torn in two between hatred and love for your partner?​

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